At Least for Today

I don't know, for me it's strange. I try to do a lot of things, which I suppose is a good quality for the most part. I jump in to things without any real experience and expect that I can do them and learn on the way. Generally, it works fine. That's why I've been able to become what I am today: mediocre at a lot of things. Not an expert at anything.

Some things I do or did because I had to. Example: my last job. I needed money, I needed experience, so I did the work. Somethings I do because I want to. Example, graphic and media design. I chose to study it because it's an all-purpose type of art that can get you a job.

And sometimes, something comes along that I do because it happens, like it was meant to happen all along. And that something or those somethings are harder to see, even when they are in progress, because it's so natural you don't have to try.

That's how I feel when I'm behind my camera. I don't worry about it working, I just do it and it does. I don't try, and I don't struggle with frustration.

This weekend, I photographed Taylor and her family again in Half Moon Bay. We went early, around 11:30, and the sky was illuminated with bright, unrelenting sun. David warned me that it would be difficult to set photos with that light. I agreed but knew that it was the only day we could get the photos done, and we did, bad light and all. When we left for home that day, I was worried that none of the 400+ pictures I took would be suitable, since I'd been chasing shadows and blinding light all day long with an infant. I waited two days to even start post production.

With squinted eyes, I started to run through the pictures early this evening. I popped the first few in to Photoshop and felt better, and better, and better. They are great. Many are better than what I captured during our last visit, and while many did fall victim to the curse of the sun and the shadows, many more were transformed in to great shots.

This may sound very basic to you, but to me, it is not. I feel like I constantly trick myself in to thinking I can do this or that, simply because I'm afraid of being stagnant, or losing an opportunity to find what I'll be truly great at. It feels good to know, at least for today, that my attention can focus on one thing, successfully.