stay tuned

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If I'm not here...

I'm here.

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Noise

If a tree falls in the forest when no one is around, does it make a sound?

Answer: yes, but only the tree has heard its own death.

There's so much noise, and so little thought. So much judgment and so little compromise.
People talking for the sake of talking, keys tapping. Saying nothing.

I have found this finally exhausting.

What's the point of putting yourself there when the community you thought existed around you is really nothing but noise?

Or, maybe I'm just not good at interpreting what isn't.

It's easy to hide inside the facade of what you call yourself on the Internet. What your avatar looks like, how you phrase your sentences, what people you follow and who follows you.

In the end, you realize it's high school all over again and you're stuck wishing you had brand name jeans.

I'm too old for this. Switching off the light until I find a reason to contribute.

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Some Things Take Time

I used to work at Hot Topic. While I lived in Madison, I took a part time job at the store on the West Side, mainly because I enjoyed the environment, and there was a 40% discount for employees (which somewhat compensated for the $5.25 I made an hour). At the time, I lived in about two pairs of pants and three hundred band t-shirts that I cut to high heaven (and yes, these shirts still show up in my wardrobe here and there) so 40% of those band t-shirts was 75% of my wardrobe. Oh, and I forgot; I got tickets to any concert I wanted for free.

As an employee, I had three responsibilities: fold t-shirts, sell t-shirts, and detract shoplifters. Now in between doing those things, I met a lot of cute guys and discovered a lot of music. One of the bands that was played for me by a fellow employee was Murder by Death. Now, you're probably envisioning a bunch of beefy guys with skull tattoos playing screamy death metal rather than three geeky dudes and a pretty girl with a cello. Something in the brilliance of a name like that gives way to the truly wonderful music they make.

The CD that I got into first was Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of Them? released in 2003. It was in the rotation of the CD player in the store when I heard the song "Pillars of Salt", a delicate but forceful marriage of rock and orchestra that sent fire through my heart. Whoever was working with me said it was Radiohead and for some reason, that seemed possible to me, so I spent an hour that night making my friend Jess go through every of his Radiohead albums to find this song. After that enormous waste of time, I went back to the store's CD player and found out that Radiohead was in there - but so was Who Will Survive.... I bought it that day.

I always thought about seeing the band live, but it never worked out. A few months ago, David told me that they'd be playing at the Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco, a smaller venue that hosts larger groups. He bought tickets, and we went to the show Saturday. It was definitely worth the wait.

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Tunes on Tuesday

I'm feeling a little Beatles-y this week.

One of the all time, best songs to sing harmony to:


But, the best use of minor-to-major chord progression ever, and best song ever written about being unable to write the song that begs you to write it:

It's difficult to say "favorite" when it comes to the Beatles, but...maybe.
Anyone else want to play? Favorite Beatles?

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Birthday

Living far away from family and most friends leaves for money and gift cards on birthdays, but I don't complain about that too much. I got money (that will go to taxes, blah) and a gift card for Blick, which I spent almost completely on paper and some other random things I needed for class.

The best gift I got was from D, who is fantastic and just always knows what I want and need. I got my new, 88 key digital piano (that weighs around 50 lbs.) in September and have been mulling over dual keyboard stands ever since.

He finally had enough of keyboard moving and got me this for my big gift. It is AMAZING. It holds each of the keyboards sturdily, and allows for both to be plugged in and accessible at the same time. I can plug both in to my m box and record them both at the same time. It is heaven, though a little intimidating.

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Work FTW

So, fast is over. Us emotional eaters do just fine on fasts when we have super wonderful husbands and cozy apartments with sweet rats to love us. You are super happy, feeling the best ever when you reach work, and your boss tells you the four worst words you could possibly hear in my line of work.

%&ck. I was feeling so good. This fast was a breeze compared to last time, and hopefully, that means I'll be able to do it again with the same luck. It isn't that I couldn't have found some way to keep going, I could have...but knowing that the next week or so is going to be one big stress after another, the whole no-food-in-stomach wasn't doing it for me. Not to mention the wonderful caffeine withdrawl headaches.

Anyway, 2.5 days wasn't a failure. I feel better than I did before, anyway. I think the key this time was consuming just water - last time, as advised for first-timers, I did a juice fast. I think the juice kept tricking my tummy in to thinking there was more coming.

A co-worker has finally started putting down some guitar to tracks I gave him months ago, so my outburst over lack of musicians over the weekend has calmed some. I'm not sure if it would work to truly play music, play gigs with this guy - he's fantastic and all, but I worry about that connection to work - but at least getting somewhere in this phase is really great.

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